What alcohol and social media have in common
A few months ago, I listened to a podcast discussion about forming a rule of life. (I think it was Justin Earley on The Habit podcast but I didn’t have time to go back through it.) A rule of life isn’t like a law, but instead is more like a trellis that supports a vine so that it grows and flourishes. The person being interviewed suggested that believers needs to put boundaries around social media with the same seriousness that we put boundaries around alcohol use.
A few disclaimers because I brought this up on Instagram (yes, I see the irony) and multiple people were concerned that this analogy didn’t take alcohol seriously enough. I don’t think that was his point. I think his point was that most people who are believers take alcohol seriously and yet don’t take social media seriously. It’s not a comment on cultural standards around alcohol. It’s not a perfect comparison, but it was very helpful for me because social media shares properties with alcohol. It’s not bad in itself, but can be addictive, can be an escape from life, and can ruin lives.
There are a lot of different stances on alcohol as well and that’s not the debate here either. The point is that most believers who drink have guardrails around their drinking. (Most of us at least agree that we should have guardrails around drinking.) It might look like firm rules for when and how often or it might be an evaluation of motive before consuming. We know that alcohol has the potential to be dangerous so we treat it accordingly.
Most of us know that social media has the potential to be dangerous but we do not treat it accordingly. I’m not here to hate on social media. I have gained so much specifically from Instagram. I have read beautiful pieces because they have been shared on the internet. I have gained friends and found books. I have learned from completely different perspectives and laughed at quirky memes and cartoons. I have learned to write and share and respond to other people there.
But I’ve also seen the downsides of social media. Social media can become a platform for comparison instead of friendship. Instead of learning, we can leave nasty comments. Instead of reflecting on life, we can rant. Instead of teaching, we can domineer. We can lose our entire lives to our phones. I’ve been constantly adjusting my own relationship specifically with Instagram and I notice several things about myself that you might see in your own life as well.
*I can lose the gift of presence. Instead of being present to my family or my friends or a complete stranger who talks to me on the sidewalk, I can be staring at my phone instead. People are yearning to be heard and my phone can rob me of my time to hear them.
*I can lose my privacy. Somehow, we’ve decided that if you show up on social media, you need to show up with everything or you aren’t being real. Of course, that’s ridiculous and why I made a list of things that I would and would not be sharing online. My husband who works in cyber security would like to point out that we share a lot of personally identifiable information online that we shouldn’t. There are things about my life that only the people who know me and my family get access to and that’s good and healthy.
*I can lose my attention. Not only can other people be robbed of my presence, I can completely miss theirs. I can lose my ability to read books or engage in deeper conversations. I can train my mind to only see in reels and snippets and never go deeper. Worse, I might not see that I need to go deeper and miss opportunities to be quiet. I can lose the ability to sit quietly and be good company to myself.
*I can lose my focus. I can forget that Instagram is not my life or my work. (For some people Instagram might be their work and that’s a different story.) But I can piddle away my time on Instagram and completely miss actually doing the work.
I’m constantly adjusting my social media guidelines because I don’t want to lose these things. I’d love to quit it entirely but every time I try, it seems God is reminding me why He hasn’t asked me to do that yet. (That might not be true for you. I know a number of you have hopped off entirely and good for you! Follow the Spirit.) But I want to be aware of how much of my life I’m handing over to social media and if I’m using it well to the glory of God. Hopefully the good of others too.
Maybe this comparison will be as helpful for you as it has been for me. We might not have books written about spiritual disciplines that include social media but I bet in twenty years we will. We will discuss how social media is either transforming or malforming us as people who are called to follow Jesus. It’s something I want to pay attention to now.
Always,
Lisa
Links I Love:
This was a thought-provoking Instagram post.
I want to try this recipe. And this one.
This post about listening to other people.
Links are short because my time this week has been consumed with subbing at the local elementary school and writing a final paper. Have you seen anything interesting on the internet?