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Wow. How convicting and encouraging and right along with some other things God spoke to me this morning. Thank you for sharing the words that God gives you!

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I'm so glad to hear this. Thanks for sharing!

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I am in the season of mothering littles and you're so right. I want to think more about how I wake up, how I spend quiet time and how I retire.

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Laura, you are doing good work! Keep going!

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I’ve been wrestling a lot with grief. It always seems to be someone else’s grief, but I feel it because of my proximity to it... I often feel like I don’t have a right to that grief because it’s not mine, and then shame myself internally for having grief responses. Our sermon yesterday was delivered by my husband who has struggled with suicidal ideation. His counselor from that season pointed him to Philippians 4:8 and showed him the agency he had over his thoughts. He may think them, but he doesn’t have to welcome them in. He doesn’t have to tidy up the rooms of his mind so that they can stay. He can interrogate his thoughts and ask them to leave. It was deeply moving to see our church family wrap arms around one another in prayer for one another’s minds. And it gave me the courage to claim agency over my grief. I can’t control my grief. I’m allowed to grieve with those who are grieving. And I’m allowed to interrogate my thoughts. And I don’t have to invite them to stay. Instead, I can hide myself in a Savior who sees every tear shed for myself or someone else, and know He has compassion and weeps with me.

I’m currently trying to write a song based on this conversation I’m having with the Lord right now. And I’m sorry for this long comment, but it struck such a chord in my heart especially after yesterday’s message ❤️

Rivers to Eden

I see that you’re dying,

Surrounded by thorns

This fight for living, leaving you so worn

The soil where you’re planted,

leaves no room for life

You’re holding back the darkness

with all your might

Chorus

I see you, sweet daughter of mine

And I hear your cries in the night

I know…. you’re not lost in this fight

The pressure is building

Deep underground

Like weeds, now choking

All the life you’ve found

But the burdens you carry

Like stones around your heart

Are bringing out the diamonds

I saw from the start

Bridge

I see your tears

I save every one

They will become

Rivers to Eden

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Grace, do not apologize for the long comment. This is beautiful. What a gift this song is going to be. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and I'm glad that your husband could too with the church.

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I'm intrigued by your restorative rhythms. The quarter it's really hit me that I need rest or—like you said about motherhood—I will drown in seminary. It will crowd out things I'm not willing to allow it to crowd out of my life. Restorative rhythms seem like a structured way to get the rest I need. I'd love to hear more about this in a future post if you feel inclined.

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I actually wrote this idea for a post in a few weeks so thank you for that suggestion! And yes, I think it applies to seminary just as much as anything else!

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