Be a trustworthy human

step zero of evangelism

When the Olympics started, there was a bit of an uproar. You might have noticed. Did the opening ceremony mock Christians? Was it actually a reflection of the Greek god, Dionysus?¹ I’m actually not super interested in that debate, but I was fascinated by the response of believers. It often seems like we are sitting on social media, waiting for something to happen so that we can be outraged.² We are outraged by politics, by celebrities, by other Christians, by political signs in our neighborhoods. It seems we think that our outrage is our best defense, our first witness. But what if it’s not? 

In I Once was Lost, two college campus missionaries compiled the five thresholds that postmodern people walk through on their path to Jesus.³ While these thresholds mark out a journey, they do not dictate the specifics; they are explicit in saying that all journeys to faith will be different.  Contrary to what I grew up learning about sharing my faith, they emphasize that conversion is mostly mysterious instead of a series of planned steps, and that building relationships is the most helpful thing we can do. Accosting strangers about the ways we think they are wrong shockingly has little benefit.⁴

The very first threshold they discuss is not learning about Jesus or hearing an argument about why the Bible is trustworthy. It’s not being scared by someone asking what would happen if they died this very night, as I have, more than once, done to strangers. The first threshold is learning to trust a Christian. People are not open to Jesus when they do not know and trust someone who claims to follow Jesus. If you grew up in the Bible Belt, this might seem like a wild idea. You’ve known Christians your whole life: they’ve been your teachers, your bank tellers, your plumbers. But in many areas, people only are exposed to Christians online, and, most of the time, that is a disaster. Or they know Christians but they live “over there” and have nothing to offer the community. Or they are self-righteous. Or they snub people to show their disapproval of sin. Or…you get the point.

In many areas of the world, Christians are increasingly being viewed with distrust. We should not be surprised. Some of that is our own fault. Even when it is not, it should be expected; we are not owed power and influence by culture and society, even in places where we have had it before. The authors reference Paul’s skeptical audience in the Roman Empire, pointing out that he was not “offended or intimidated by their insults. Instead he found a way to press on and declare the good news. Let us learn like Paul to not only survive but thrive in our current context of distrust.”⁵ This is the backbone we need in our own cultures, especially as they shift and change.

The authors list “five knee-jerk reactions to distrust” and then five postures that they suggest instead. Our instinctive reactions are to defend ourselves, bruise and become offended, avoid the people who don’t trust us, judge them for being so immoral, and argue with them about why they are wrong. It doesn’t take a lot to see ourselves in that list of behaviors. It’s like staring in a mirror. Avoiding probably seems like the calmest one but even that prevents others from coming to know and trust us which means they will most likely not be open to hearing about Jesus. 

Instead, we should pursue “five kingdom habits that build trust.’ These are the five habits that they suggest cultivating.

1. Pray. Pray for our own hearts to be soft but also pray for their whole lives. 

2. Learn. We can learn what causes their distrust. Practice asking good questions. 

3. Bond. Make space in your life for people. They write “The best conversations with non-Christians rarely occur inside a church building or at an event designed for seekers.” Get to know people in their lives. 

4. Affirm. Work hard to find good things in them and their lives and name those. This does not require compromising the essentials of our faith. 

5. Welcome. Welcome other people into our lives. This means that our lives need to match our words. “‘Come and see’ is one of the most authentic, transparent gifts we can give. It is better than any pat answer we might offer.” 

It is not our job to make people come to faith. It is our work to live in a way that reflects an alternate kingdom, a family that people might be curious about. I don’t mean that we let go of our beliefs or ethics.⁶ But if the gospel is good news, it should look like good news. Imagine if the world were full of believers who loved the marginalized in their cities, who built strong, committed relationships with the people in their church, who sought unity among churches, who approached people with the love of Jesus, who used their skills and talents for the good of their communities. What would our witness look like then? If we were willing to lose, ready to learn, careful with our words, and quick to love others people might slowly become curious about what makes us that way. Our outrage, on the other hand, is probably not appealing to anyone. 

1. Should we have all just been offended either way??? (kidding)

2. I actually think that a public, global platform is a terrible place to mock any group of people but that’s beside the point. I would also say that we should expect people to mock us. There are places to say “hey, that’s not ok,” but we can’t make anyone do differently from what they are doing.

3. If you’re skeptical, they address that in the book. I just don’t have space here.

4. We’ve probably noticed this when other people do it to us.

5. I Once Was Lost, 33.

6. Although I personally don’t expect people who don’t believe in the authority of the Bible to be convinced they shouldn’t do something because of the authority of the Bible.