The ever-changing guidelines for women

and what you can do about them

I woke up Monday morning to two emails about Al Mohler.¹ Mohler is a name I know well.² We used to be part of a SBC church and, for a few years, I kept up closely with SBC news. It was enraging.

As I get older, I try to let go of things that are enraging if I can cannot affect them in any way. Not only can I not affect the SBC in any way, I have not attended a SBC church in five years. So I try not to pay attention. Granted, some of the news is so overwhelming it finds its way in anyway.

Apparently with the upcoming SBC convention, Mohler’s priority is again the women. Despite considering churches with female pastors “out of cooperation” on a regular basis the past few years,³ the women are still the problem with the SBC.⁴ This is ludicrous, of course, as the SBC is still in the midst of horrendous sexual abuse allegations.⁵ I’ll join the chorus: if you can track down and remove churches with female pastors from your cooperative, you can do the same to churches who continue to hire pastors who abuse the congregants. You can track these men across your churches. You just don’t want to do that.

Mohler thinks women should not be called a pastor of any sort and goes as far as to say that a woman on staff at a church should not discuss the sermon on a podcast. Sir, forget women speaking on podcasts and do something about the men abusing your congregations!

I don’t have anything new to say about this. It’s the same outrage I’ve felt about the SBC and honestly complementarianism in general. It all depends on who is making the rules.⁶ There is no “the Bible plainly says” and that’s why every church is doing something different. Women have to figure out what’s available to them at each church and what’s available might go away.

What I did come to say is this:

You can go to church somewhere else.

Most of you don’t have to be part of the SBC. SBC churches are everywhere in the south especially, and they are usually full of wonderful people who have nothing to do with Mohler’s opinions. The SBC church that we attended for five years was full of people who loved us and we loved them. But you can go to church somewhere else. Even in tiny towns, there will be a little Methodist church, a little something.

And I hear you. I know they won’t have large kids’ programs. But do you want large kids’ program or do you want your sons and daughters to grow up knowing that women have a voice in the kingdom of God?

I know they may sing old-fashioned songs or preach the lectionary or have a minor doctrinal stance that you disagree with. But the women in your congregation who feel called to ministry probably won’t be told they can’t discuss the sermon on a podcast (probably—in the south it’s always a possibility).

There may be a place to advocate with your church leadership first. If you haven’t brought up your concerns, don’t just leave talking about “those people.” Go and talk to your leaders. Share your love for the church and your concerns over the place that women have. But you also have to be prepared that it might not do anything positive.⁷

I know leaving a church family is hard. I’ve done it. I know it’s hard to start all over somewhere else and not know what will happen. I know that change is scary and you are mostly comfortable where you are. I know that people will say you’ve “gone liberal” or are a troublemaker or just aren’t happy following the Bible.⁸

But especially if you, your wife, your daughter, your female friend is called ministry, leave. Try anything else. Everything else. There are plenty of orthodox denominations that will provide a better environment. And they are not as scary as you may have been told.⁹

We joined a Wesleyan church back in August. In comparison with the SBC amendment, at their General Conference last week the Wesleyans passed a memorial about women in ministry. They wanted it to be plain that they support women in ministry at every level. And while the experience in actual churches varies (especially in the south and in places where there are a lot of Baptist transplants), having the leadership declare unequivocally that women can—and should if they are called!—be pastors is radically different.

It’s not just Wesleyans. You can find other places where women in ministry are supported instead of debated and dissected or the people at least believe that women can talk on podcasts about the sermons.¹⁰ There are orthodox church spaces where women are partners, coworkers, siblings in Christ, not just problems to managed and threats to be patrolled.

I’m not saying that you should leave. You and the Holy Spirit and trusted counselors have to discern that. I am saying that you can leave. It is an option, even if it feels like a hard one.

There might be better for you.

1. Seriously, read Mike Bird’s post, especially the ending if you want to see some of the fruit of this theology.

2. The Sheep Detectives was a fabulous movie. I laughed out loud when the sheep attempted to describe God.

3. Tara Beth Leach’s post on The Pastor as Mother.

1. Substacks, of course! Here is one. Here is the second.

2. This is not about Mohler as a person or a believer. I look forward to sharing new creation with him one day. This is about how he chooses to use his power and what he finds important.

3. These churches no longer function as part of the SBC convention.

4. Here is one link. Just google. There are plenty more.

5. See here. And here. And here. There’s more if you google.

6. And the men are making the rules.

7. In fact, it might do negative things.

8. This post reminds us that the modern complementarian view is not the view of the church across history. It’s new. It’s one interpretation of Scripture, not the metric for following Jesus.

9. I would love for the church to be more willing to link arms with other types of churches instead of viewing them all as traitors to your specific favorite doctrines.

10. The bar keeps getting lower.