Three Things Edition

favorite month, favorite boys, favorite music

October is officially my favorite month. I don’t think I’ve declared a favorite month before. I don’t know that I’ve particularly enjoyed October this much before. The new christening might be caused by multiple things. Perhaps October is different here in Virginia than it was in Kentucky. Perhaps it is my age. Perhaps I have practiced embracing the seasons long enough that I feel something besides dread at the approach of winter. Whatever the cause, October occupies a large enough space in my heart that when I was at the dentist last week, I threatened (wished?) to block off all of next October and spend it with campfires and hiking and Harry Potter. It’s the chill mornings that have me slipping into a sweater. It’s the leaves all shades of yellow and orange and red. It’s the light. The sun is lower in the sky and while it threatens to blind me when I’m driving, it stabs my heart with happiness¹ when it is coming through my kitchen window. 

The October light enters my kitchen, all slant.
Piercing through the trees and falling leaves,
Setting the treetops afire while the bottoms
Are eaten by the cold dark of twilight.
It kindles the food on the cutting board,
The wine in my glass the color of gratitude.
It slides behind the fence, tucked into bed,
And candlelight quivers above the table. 

My kids are getting older. We are solidly out of the age of littles and even fight ourselves for our youngest² to get to stay little and not be pushed to keep up with his brothers. We keep agreeing that the boys need even more from us now than they did when they were little. They need us in different ways, of course, but they need us just as much. They need our presence and our attention. They need our modeling and our conversations. They need a listening ear, calm reactions, curious questions. They need a rich, full home life, and also help moving themselves from the center of the universe. 

As we say “no” to some things—things that their friends are doing—I want to offer other things in their place. Sabbath. Rest. Delight. Close relationships. Space to explore and learn skills. Stories. Songs. Meals around the table with candlelight and friends. Technology as a tool, not as the way they experience the world. We want to make a bigger deal of the yes’s that we say than the no’s. 

This is my commitment to be here, present and available in their lives in different ways as they grow. This isn’t answers or a problem removal or behavior management. This isn’t instructions for anyone else or comments on how other people live. This isn’t even a full look at our home life. It is a stake in the ground for how I want to live with my boys in this next season of parenting. It is a commitment of my time and my energy. It is a framework to review personal and career opportunities. Our boys need us and we want to be here. 

I’ve been searching for new music. Perhaps it is the change in season but I need something more mellow. I want lyrics that resonate with what’s happening in my heart.³ Something that warms the house while we’re getting ready for school or cooking dinner. Here is some music I’ve enjoyed lately. 

My Favorite Dream by John Legend- a foray into children’s music that adults will love to listen to as well. 

Pensées by Megan Perry Fisher- moody piano music which is something I’ll always sign up for⁴

Andy Squyres- a little bit of all his albums.⁵ I’m attending a house show of his next Monday at a friend’s home so I’ve been sampling. You can find him on Instagram as well. 

This is an extra, both because the meal is delicious and because you can again see the evening light coming in the kitchen. This is the meal I throw together when I don’t have long to cook but want real food.

Slice some andouille sausage and brown it in a little oil in a braising pan. Throw in two big handfuls of sliced mushrooms with some salt and pepper. Add a little more oil if the mushrooms keep looking dry. Melt a big puddle of butter⁶ and throw a package of gnocchi in as well. Stir and let cook on low for a few minutes. Rip up a few handfuls of spinach (I always pull out the stems but you do you) and drop that in along with some chopped basil. Stir until spinach is wilted. Taste and add more salt and pepper as needed. Top with a fried egg.⁷

What’s been on your mind this October?

1. And something else: melancholy? nostalgia? I’m not sure.

2. He’s seven.

3. Breakups and sex aren’t quite doing it for me right now. There’s more out there, right?

4. I listen to music on Amazon music—don’t throw things at me!— so I didn’t bother to link from there. YouTube doesn’t have the whole album but look for it! It’s quite delightful.

5. Ditto to all of his music

6. I used a dairy-free alternative because one of my kids is allergic to dairy.

7. Now we all understand why people (my husband) don’t always love my cooking instructions. I cook with handfuls and puddles and “you’ll know it’s done when it looks done.”