I think a lot of churches spend time trying to convince people they are better than other churches and that seems like a silly thing to do in response to the gospel. I hope you find a wonderful place to be!
Commenting because I've been thinking about church a lot. I'm in India, so our context is most likely very different from yours. We go to a small church plant, which is only about 30 people strong at the moment. People are constantly floating through or leaving (because of work, study etc). It's hard to feel connected and stay purposeful when the church doesn't seem to be growing much. Any tips on how to stay grounded in a church situation like this? Thanks!
That is complex and in a culture that I'm not familiar with at all so I hesitate to give any advice. I would try looking for the things that are grounding and stay the same to root yourself in the midst of all the change but I don't know if that's even possible. I'd love to hear what you've done so far!
Love the nuance here, Lisa! I have attended both types of churches you describe-- I've seen wonderful fruit and beautiful community in both types of churches... and I've seen leadership issues and harm done in both types of churches. I've stopped believing there's any one perfect way to "do" church, and I think your guiding principles of "Biblically grounded, Spirit led, and emotionally healthy" are spot on. Thanks for sharing!
I’m moving to a new state soon and needed to hear this. The thought of trying out churches is so exhausting. I definitely relate to feeling disheartened and cynical when doing so, but I appreciate the reminder of simply deciding to invest in a church, regardless of how many “checked boxes” it has. It’s never going to be perfect, but we don’t grow or build community if we don’t show up.
Trying new churches is totally exhausting. I do think there are things that matter but everything doesn't matter! Praying that you find the right place and feel peace about it.
We are "in ministry", so in almost every move, our church situation is chosen FOR us in response to a sense that yes, this is the right place for us to serve. On the one hand, it eliminates the frustration or tension of examining every aspect of a church and trying to figure out if it's "for us". On the other hand, not once have I ever gotten to truly choose a church according to any of our unique preferences or convictions. We're "answering a call", not "choosing a church". (I keep putting things in quotation marks just to note that these are probably sort of cliche phrases, not to belittle them like an air quote situation). I like to think I'm too old to labor under the idea that the grass is greener somewhere else, but nonetheless it can be really tiresome to labor in a place that doesn't often feel like home, even if it is right. A mentor of mine says that God doesn't always lead us to our preferred / ideal / optimum situation -- but He is always trustworthy and ready to do good in and through us, whoever He leads. So I'm learning to believe Him.
Yes, I totally agree. When I look back on all the places that I've been (granted in a different yet still similar situation to yours), I see how much God was doing in me in those places that wouldn't have happened if I had been in the place I wanted to be. God is good to us even (especially?) when we don't get what we want. Grateful for your faithfulness.
I went to a mega church for my last 7 years in the US. Not sure I ever would again, but the small group program was awesome and in our intimate group there was vulnerability and connection in the midst of the transient urban world. I was really wrestling with my faith when I arrived. I didn’t like many opinions of the head pastor (that didn’t change) and was totally judgmental about the demographics of the church, but I cried through the singing every week.
It was, overall, a good place for us those seven years. Not sure I would do it again. But doesn’t God generally use flawed communities and people? He is the only perfect one.
I think a lot of churches spend time trying to convince people they are better than other churches and that seems like a silly thing to do in response to the gospel. I hope you find a wonderful place to be!
Thoughtful and nuanced. Loved reading your thoughts on this, friend. I’ll share my own in a few weeks, maybe over some chicken salad and sunshine? 😏
Yes! I can't wait!
Commenting because I've been thinking about church a lot. I'm in India, so our context is most likely very different from yours. We go to a small church plant, which is only about 30 people strong at the moment. People are constantly floating through or leaving (because of work, study etc). It's hard to feel connected and stay purposeful when the church doesn't seem to be growing much. Any tips on how to stay grounded in a church situation like this? Thanks!
That is complex and in a culture that I'm not familiar with at all so I hesitate to give any advice. I would try looking for the things that are grounding and stay the same to root yourself in the midst of all the change but I don't know if that's even possible. I'd love to hear what you've done so far!
Love the nuance here, Lisa! I have attended both types of churches you describe-- I've seen wonderful fruit and beautiful community in both types of churches... and I've seen leadership issues and harm done in both types of churches. I've stopped believing there's any one perfect way to "do" church, and I think your guiding principles of "Biblically grounded, Spirit led, and emotionally healthy" are spot on. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your comment! That is exactly what I'm trying to articulate so I'm glad it came across.
I’m moving to a new state soon and needed to hear this. The thought of trying out churches is so exhausting. I definitely relate to feeling disheartened and cynical when doing so, but I appreciate the reminder of simply deciding to invest in a church, regardless of how many “checked boxes” it has. It’s never going to be perfect, but we don’t grow or build community if we don’t show up.
Trying new churches is totally exhausting. I do think there are things that matter but everything doesn't matter! Praying that you find the right place and feel peace about it.
We are "in ministry", so in almost every move, our church situation is chosen FOR us in response to a sense that yes, this is the right place for us to serve. On the one hand, it eliminates the frustration or tension of examining every aspect of a church and trying to figure out if it's "for us". On the other hand, not once have I ever gotten to truly choose a church according to any of our unique preferences or convictions. We're "answering a call", not "choosing a church". (I keep putting things in quotation marks just to note that these are probably sort of cliche phrases, not to belittle them like an air quote situation). I like to think I'm too old to labor under the idea that the grass is greener somewhere else, but nonetheless it can be really tiresome to labor in a place that doesn't often feel like home, even if it is right. A mentor of mine says that God doesn't always lead us to our preferred / ideal / optimum situation -- but He is always trustworthy and ready to do good in and through us, whoever He leads. So I'm learning to believe Him.
Yes, I totally agree. When I look back on all the places that I've been (granted in a different yet still similar situation to yours), I see how much God was doing in me in those places that wouldn't have happened if I had been in the place I wanted to be. God is good to us even (especially?) when we don't get what we want. Grateful for your faithfulness.
Fascinating. Hopeful. Emcouraging.
Thank you, Linda!
I went to a mega church for my last 7 years in the US. Not sure I ever would again, but the small group program was awesome and in our intimate group there was vulnerability and connection in the midst of the transient urban world. I was really wrestling with my faith when I arrived. I didn’t like many opinions of the head pastor (that didn’t change) and was totally judgmental about the demographics of the church, but I cried through the singing every week.
It was, overall, a good place for us those seven years. Not sure I would do it again. But doesn’t God generally use flawed communities and people? He is the only perfect one.